She Is Just Not That Into You

A boy sees a girl at some party or some marriage or just on the road buying vegetables. Her eyes are mystical, her lips are red, her smile is radiant, and she carries herself gracefully like a dancer. He goes behind her and tries to impress her. Now she sees him and realises that someone is following her. She over-reacts and gets the guy beaten up, or gives him some ‘gaalis’. Her face has a permanent frown on seeing the hero goof up. Yet he keeps following her and they bump into each other again. It’s all ‘kismat ka khel’. After a while, the boy somehow breaks the ice and makes the heroine fall for him. All this while, the girl was just playing hard to get. She was also obviously into him because she just falls in love with random stalkers. Sounds familiar?

That pretty much sums up our romantic movies. The hero always gets the girl in the end. The girl needs him more than anything and just pretends that she is fine by her own. We keep talking about how these Yash-Raj movies give girls a false hope. We forget that it does more harm to the boys as well. Boys think it’s their duty to stalk the girl till she becomes his because that is what Shahrukh Khan does on big screen. So they follow her and keep pestering her to love them back. They have no idea what respecting other’s feeling is. In our patriarchal society, it is often the boys who must chase girls. It talks about their manliness. They assume that girls are just waiting about for a stalker like a damsel in distress. They just don’t get it that she genuinely doesn't like them and would want to be left in peace. The never-give-up attitude comes to play. Egos get crushed. And hence rises the phoenix of crime.

The boys have physical power and access to all the equipment they need. They believe that the girl they are chasing dares to smug them off. It now becomes a play of power. It becomes ‘yeh ladki meri nahi toh kisi ki nahi ho sakti.’ Some throw acid on the innocent girl’s face and life. Sometimes they resort to murder. Sometimes they stick their filthy dicks inside her vagina to teach her a lesson and show her place in the society. They make sure that the girl is ruined for rejecting them.

Ours is a patriarchal society where men think they can have whatever they want and get away with it. Women are still suppressed to great heights.   Our Bollywood movies don’t help either. It is considered that if a woman is raped, it compromises the honour of her father/brother/husband. The rapist definitely objectify her, but what is to say of such a society. Is she a trophy of honour to her family? Gangsters rape mothers, sisters, wives and daughters as a medium of revenge. Nobody actually cares about the abuse done to her body.

Religion plays a vital role in encouraging male dominance. Many religions encourage beating wives who are disobedient and rebellious. She is supposed to be answerable to ‘her man’. Women are nothing but properties of our father later on handed over to a husband. Since they do a ‘meherbani’ of taking care of the daughter, they demand lump sum amount in ‘dowry’. We cannot fight against sexual injustice until we learn not to objectify women and respect her feelings and right. If she doesn't want to marry you or do exactly as you say, you have to understand that she has her freedom to do so. That won’t make you any less a man, if it will; it will make you more of a human.

P.S. – A note to women, if a guy asks you out or proposes you, please don’t slap them. Politely reject them if you aren't interested. There is nothing wrong in harmless asking out and we must also learn to respect feelings. 

To all my English speaking audience:

Gaalis - abusive words

kismat ka khel - game of luck

yeh ladki meri nahi toh kisi ki nahi ho sakti - If this girl doesn't become mine, she won't be anybody's

meherbani - favour

The Third Eye

Apologies to all my fans, I haven’t posted something in a while. I just went through my first writer’s block, a phase every writer must face. Anyway, I found a source of inspiration at last, my five hundred something gram Canon 600D slr.

Now my passion in photography dates back to our Manali- Chandigarh trip, when I was 10. I would always fight to get a chance to click the button, and I would always get the annoying “Don’t waste the rolls” from my mom. Since then, I wanted to own a camera, and do as I wish with it. Digital age has brought in more room for trial and experiments.

Since I bought my first ever dslr (I saved up pocket money and some of my gift money for this), I have started looking at the world with an all new eye. I would call my camera my third eye (rather second, I don’t really have a fully functional right eye). Here are a few points I would like to share with you all

1. The perspective matters the most.

Nothing can be defined as it is, it can only be defined how you see it. The key to photography is taking everyday objects in a fresh perspective. This means, we have to bend down to take photos of flowers and leaves at different angles. To take a photo of the subject, we must come down to its level.

This applies to life as well. We are quick to pass judgements about people on how they appear to us. The fat kid is lazy, the girl in shorts is a slut, that dude with tattoos is a druggie, that lady in salwar kameez is dumb... We do not even bother to hear the other side of the story and immediately categorise the world into black and white. If you put efforts, you can see anything in a different light.

How difference in light gives variotion to the leaves with the same primary properties

The background and the angle at which it is taken makes it unique

2. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

No bragging here but someone told me that their photos never come good, but I managed to make that person look good in the photos I clicked recently. The compliment made my day, because as a photographer, I want everyone to see the beauty in what they normally choose to ignore. I agree that some people might be “photogenic”, but it really doesn't mean anything to a photographer. We can make anyone look good by just getting the right light, angle and timing. Our secret is simple; we actually see the beauty in someone or something before clicking it. You have to get past the stereotypical definitions of attractive. Accepting a person for what they are is the first step, embracing them is the bigger step here.

As I was walking home, I saw this cart which was neglected and unnoticed by passer-by’s. 

3. Patience is the key.

Sometimes, you will have to wait for eternity to get the best shot. A wildlife photographer will give you an elaborate speech on patience. You may see a bird or a butterfly, but as you aim to shoot, they fly away. After so many attempts, you may probably get a shot right. You shouldn’t give up or get frustrated, it happens to the best of us.

This is a lesson which not only helps you pull through photography, but also life. Remember, it’s always worth a wait.

I had to take many shots before getting it perfectly into the frame.

4. Be spontaneous.

While you have to wait forever, the butterfly on the flowers won’t. They don’t have a Facebook account, so they won’t wait around in poses till you snap them. You need to be quick and spontaneous at every opportunity you get. The sun is not going to last on the horizon till you get the perfect shot. Same goes with events. Children are the best subject of spontaneity. And trust me; the candid spontaneous shots often are the best ones.

To be so, you need practice with shutter speeds and other settings. You also need to be prepared at all times. Sometimes you will find something interesting in the absence of your camera as well. I have taken many photos with my cellular phone as well, in fact, most of my Instagram photos come directly from my cell.

Getting a good shot of kids is the toughest, which makes it the most treasured and beautiful snapshots.

5. Heartbreak is a part of life.

I took a wonderful shot of a fellow photographer capturing a tree. The background was a vibrant shade of royal blue. The composition was perfect. The photo was an epitome of perfection. For a girl who got a dslr few days back, it was flawless. I had all intentions of sending it to the newspaper to publish it in the photo gallery.

However, while transferring the photos from the memory card to my laptop, all was lost. I tried hard to retrieve it, but the card got overwritten. In all my teen years, I was never THAT heart broken. This was worse than having to read about Dobby’s and Fred’s death in Harry Potter. But I remembered Edison’s incident. When his factory burned down, he took it as an opportunity to eliminate flaws and build up a better factory. It motivated me to take better photos to overcome the loss.

Those who are interested to surf through my photographs, here is the link - https://www.facebook.com/dyutira?ref=hl

It would make my day if you like the page. In return I will probably click a masterpiece portrait of you someday J

For the rest, adios!

Last but not the least, Happy World Photography Day (it's on 19th August) to you all.