Those Mental Handcuffs

This blog may contain some matter inappropriate for totally unaware kids to read. And yes if anyone takes offense to this, i am not sorry for it.

The Delhi rape case, which occurred in the bus, created a sensation across the country.  Someone asked a girl to meet him at the marketplace in Delhi. She was abducted from there and raped. A bharatnatyam dance teacher in Navi Mumbai raped his student. A 4 year old girl was molested by a bus conductor. In Pune, a vice-principal molests a girl. The school authorities denied it, claiming that the girl had a flawed character and followed unethical practices like friendship with boys.

Every time I pick up the newspaper, this is all I read. Rapes, domestic violence, murdering one’s own family, are all I can see everywhere. Eve-teasing has become a common issue. Even the reporter who was put on the Delhi rape case faced eve-teasing. Parents have started talking like – I don’t feel like sending my daughter out of the house anymore. We are talking about a country who worships Saraswathi as the Goddess of knowledge, Lakshmi as the Goddess of wealth and Durga as the Shakti or divine energy; a country once known for respecting the integrity of women; a country I always considered myself lucky to be born in. But now I loathe the same motherland, as it has betrayed me.

In spite of the economic advancement and educational reforms, our mindset remains the same. Men think they have power over women and show their authority by penetrating them. The husband is still the ‘pati-parameshwar’, to whom, his woman bows down. Failing to do so, she is subjected to belts and canes. The bahu of the house gets maltreated if she is unable to bear the heir of the family. Working or not, women end up doing all the household work too, while her husband puts his feet up and enjoy some television.

I have girlfriends, whose parents want them to complete some basic degree, do a ‘nine to five’ job for some years and then get married. Some of the parents think it’s unnecessary for a girl to study too much. Many of them already train their daughters to go into their ‘sasural’. Meanwhile the sons are enjoying some beer, playing Skyrim or having a debate on who should be Chelsea’s next manager. I myself have been asked this question – Why do you want to study so much? Just find someone rich to marry instead.

Another surprise was when I learnt that someone I knew pretty well was asked for dowry. I honestly thought that the educated lot stopped this practice. She was from a well to do family with good values and sense. The bigger shock was when I heard that they were ready to pay it. The girl’s side was ready to pay for a grand ceremony as well, as the boy’s side demanded.

If a girl is raped, molested or gets involved in any affair, boys reject her later on. She is termed as impure, no matter how good is she from the heart. They want someone white, so that they can colour her with their own filthy hands. The skeletons in a boy’s closet are just a sign of his carefree youth. Boys always get a fourth chance, but often the first chance is snatched away from a girl. Our society is truly hypocritical.

Small girls are subjected to the bad touch by their uncles. These uncles are often the most respected ones in the family and they are consulted for all major decisions. If the girl utters a word against the monster, she is called a liar and someone who cannot ‘respect’ her elders. Honestly does this particular elder deserve any ‘respect’? The girl too is forced to attend family functions which she dreads. In all the chaos and negligence, the disgusting uncle takes a chance and gets too close to his beautiful little niece. She knows it’s wrong, but is left helpless. She doesn’t even know why it’s wrong and how to put it in words. She wouldn’t know how to frame it in a sentence.

The Pune case isn’t quite different. The girl’s character is blamed as she does ‘unethical practice like friendship with boys’. Have you heard anything more ridiculous? Recently, while I was spending some time with a close friend of mine who lacks the y-chromosome, I received those prying eyes. While my own parents had no problems, good Lord knows what they were concerned about! Forget the middle aged gossip group; even my own friends have this sick mentality. Some girls in our college are more likely to be seen around boys. Such girls are termed as desperate for attention or only interested in boys. Girls thinking so about other girls, it’s pathetic.

After all this, do you still call India a free country? Our laws are liberal but our mind isn’t. We women are still looked down on, that too by other women. No matter who does what, it’s our character and integrity that goes under a microscope. Many politicians have yet again proved their smartness by commenting on how women should get married early or stay at home only. No one talks about teaching the other sex to show some respect to women. Even parents don’t care what their sons do because their sins will be forgiven. The truth is, women don’t respect women, how do we expect men to? It’s time we stop judging and start showing some dignity.